Clik here to view.
Breath My Baby Out (My Birth Story)
So it has been 4 months since my last blog, and no, I am not 13 months preggo. I had that baby and boy is that distracting!!! I am back though, and feel like I have to start from where I left off in...
View ArticleClik here to view.
After Birth…Stay in Bed For a Week!
Although staying at the hospital was kinda boring, and I was ready to go home, I also felt a little nervous about leaving. I kept thinking “you guys are really going to let me leave with this thing? I...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Apocalypse Is Screwing With My Weekend Plans!
The upcoming Armageddon is seriously messing with my Saturday. I mean The Munch and I are supposed to go to an art fair, and the world coming to an end will totally ruin everything! You know what I...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Birth As Performance Art
A Brooklyn woman is turning her birth into performance art by putting herself and her last weeks of pregnancy on display at a gallery. When she goes into labor Marni Kotak will squeeze that puppy out...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Your Bad Mood Becomes My Problem
Bad moods are contagious. When you are around someone in a sourpuss state it is supremely difficult to not let it affect you. It is as if their blackened energy seeps through their pores to pollute...
View ArticleClik here to view.
A Song in Your Heart
One of the more exiting aspects of parenting is those moments where your child makes a developmental shift that blows your mind so much that your brain innards ooze out your nose and ears and cascades...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The World is Still Full Of Racism
I am sure you know this, but people are really racist. I wanted to show pictures of monkeys to The Munch on my computer, so I typed up “monkey” in google, went to “images,” and the below picture of...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Pink Eye Is Seriously Gnarly
The Munch has pink eye. In both eyes. It is pretty gnarly. I am kind of having a hard time looking at her. I mean I do of course, but not without suppressing gags. The white part of her eye looks...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Natural Childbirth Summit
I am a part of this natural birth summit!! This is the link!! http://thechildbirthsummit.com/ It is going to be this amazing summit to discuss, educate, and promote natural birth! I think as long as...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Getting Old and Glorifying the Past
Yesterday was my day of uterine insurgence. It marked the moment that I was ejected from my mother’s glorious birth canyon, and burst forth into the world. Thanks dad for not pulling out to distribute...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Rappers Talking to Teen Girls About Love is Only the BEST THING EVER!
Are you ready for your heart to erupt out of your ribcage, and your eyes to swell with the butterfly dreams of caterpillars? Do you feel prepared to allow hope to wash over your membranes and loofah...
View ArticleClik here to view.
I’m Sick of Taking Care of Things
One of the great beauties of childhood is that you aren’t expected to take care of anyone else. You are barely expected to take care of yourself. Yeah eventually you learn to wipe your own ass and pour...
View ArticleClik here to view.
We are not in NYC anymore
It has been 6 years since I lived in the city. Over half a decade of cuntree living where I have learned to become comfortable with spiders in my bed, eviscerated mice on my floor, and ripping ticks...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Lord of the Flies Birthday Party
My birthday is December 29th. Officially one of the worst birthdays a human can have. For one, nobody remembers. In the days before Facebook walls (where casual acquaintances can now celebrate the day...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Are My Wishes Dumb?
When I was a kid I was obsessed with wishes. I would wish every time I saw a star, every time the clock read 11:11, and on every dandelion I blew… which I regret because they NEVER took me out to...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Legos Are My OCD
The other day The Munch got a set of Legos for her birthday. She decided she wanted to open it with her babysitter, and I said sure, because I am a casual parent. I am not some corny helicopter mom who...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Smoking Pot and Watching 1970’s Sci-Fi With My Brother
On the fateful date of September 8th I received a text message from my brother that requested we watch the movie “Zardoz” together. And I quote, “Don’t look it up on Wikipedia. It has to be seen to be...
View ArticleClik here to view.
How Important Are Manners?
Growing up in a super WASPy family, there was often the social convention that you were to prioritize politeness over truth. What you were thinking was never as important as what the other person is...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Unleashing Your Inner Teen Girl
I have a very mutable personality. It’s like my identity waxes and wanes depending on my audience. I can be the serious intellectual type, the conspiracy theorist nut job, the hard working artist, the...
View Article
